In this dream, I met with a girl whom I had a crush on from 4th grade all the way through high school. What was different is that there seemed to be no physical setting or background and she appeared as an almost complete image. I had the impression I was meeting her in a “space” between lifetimes for her but I was visiting in my current dream state.
She committed suicide in graduate school and from what I heard she locked herself in a freezer. I have thought of her often and I was certain it was she even though her appearance was not exactly how I remembered her. She was always thin, but this time she seemed insubstantial, as you might expect of a ghostly presence.
She smiled as I approached and asked what she was doing. She told me that she was a counselor for those who had committed suicide and she was helping them prepare for their next lifetime. I gave her a big hug. I wasn’t sure she would accept. She was a bit stiff but she was OK with that. All the time I had known her, she paid not the slightest attention to me, although I knew she knew how I had felt about her.
Because I had never been able to get her out of mind for very long, I once asked a psychic (whom I trusted) about the nature of our relationship in a past lifetime. What was relevant was that we knew each other in old China when she had a “crush” on me, a handsome young Chinese man and, I guess I had a big ego.
It was not “ancient China” but a time when it was socially permissible for girls to act the way she did toward me. Or maybe it was just a rare period in history. But, I ignored her during that lifetime and this lifetime, I was experiencing the karmic payback. There may have been other lifetimes we shared but only that one seemed relevant to the psychic.
In the dream, I started to walk away after saying I knew she would do a good job. I was still very shy in her presence, the same as all the time we were in school together. But this time, I was determined to heal the relationship so I walked back and asked her if she would have dinner, lunch or just meet somewhere and talk. We finally sat down by a fountain in a plaza and ate some fast food. All the time, she retained her ghostly appearance but it did not bother me in the least. Every past memory seemed to be resolved during that time.
I don’t know why I asked but did ask if she was counseling men as well as women who committed suicide. She said yes but it was much harder, which I suspected. I figured some affair had been the reason for her suicide in graduate school. But I had never been told the details.
I awoke slowly from this dream, although I wanted it to last. I wished we could have talked more. I did feel that the animosity toward each other was over.
Unguarded Thought 